Date: Fri, 6 Oct 2000 14:39:52 -0700 (PDT)
From: Oct***** [oct*******@yahoo.com]
To: aeon@ninjaburger.com
Subject: Expect a lawsuit, friend.
To whom it may concern:
We had just finished enjoying a tasty meal of Ninja Burger burgers and Fries
of Our Ancestors when my friend ***** and decided to enjoy the nighttime
air. Having just downed a 36oz Ninja Burger cola, ***** decided to relieve
himself by an available tree. I thought it would amusing to take a picture
of him in this compromising position and crept out unbeknownst to him. The
flash went off and but when I looked up ***** was not cussing me out
angrily but rather sprawled across the ground with a large puncture wound in
the back of his neck that severed his spine and cut his esophagus so as to
prevent anyone from hearing his scream. Efficient work, I must admit, but
this was my friend damn it!
When I later had the photos developed I discovered the cause of his puncture
wound. A rogue delivery ninja of your organization apparently thought it
would be fun to catch my friend with his pants down! Or his fly, anyway.
Regardless, I will have retribution! I'll be seeing you in court.
Matthew M. *****
The photo in question is below. Obviously, this is not a photo of a Ninja Burger employee. Not only would a Ninja Burger employee move too swiftly and stealthily to be seen or photographed, but he would have killed anyone trying to take his picture. We believe this is a photo of a Yakuza employee from Yako Taco. Either that, or you have too much time on your hands.