Date: Sat, 16 Sep 2000 01:38:48 -0400
From: Ed ***** [ed*****@engineer.com]
To: Aeon [aeon@iconoclast.org]
Subject: Re: Samuraiburger.com

I was deeply troubled by the email that you sent to me at the Samurai Burger(tm) franchise where I am employed. I therefore delivered the message with due haste to my Daimyo. After striking me, he commanded that I research the proper response in "The Way of the Samurai Burger"(tm). Although we do not yet have a web page which describes our services, we have 5 franchises, and now that everyone has forgotten about the Meiji Restoration we plan to expand into each province. In order to maintain consistency and retain our honor, we follow a recently discovered text by Yamamoto Tsenetomo, entitled "The Way of the Samurai Burger"(tm), which on page 341, section 12a, paragraph 3 states:
"When the ninja is backed into a corner and confronted with a superior hamburger, his only defense will be to cloud your mind by defaming your abilities, your honor, or your Fryolator(tm). Meet the situation without tenseness yet not recklessly, your spirit settled yet unbiased. Clear your mind by repeating the words, 'they only broil theirs on one side, they only broil theirs on one side'. Then dispatch him with your daito-katana as you were instructed in dill pickle training."
Only one without honor would cast such hollow words over the internet and cause me to burn myself in such a dishonorable manner. I look forward to the day we arrive at your intended delivery destination before you and deliver a most honorable rice burger, a side order of sticky buns, and a teeny-tiny Lego(tm) Samurai (http://fox.nstn.ca/~gtucker/lego/6013.jpg). Ninja Burger will never survive such an onslaught.
Until then-
Takeda