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Ninja Burger Haiku By You
Window crashes in
Sounds of trash can toppling down
Next time better tip
Where did it come from
Nothing was there before now
I turned around; food
Opening the door
Where is the delivery-
Oh, there it is. Mmm.
Speedy ninja man
Bring burgers to my home now
Or die in attempt
My dog knows better
Than to bark at man in black
He tried it one time
- C. Hamlin
Sizzling on the grill
Twin spatulas flipping to
Katana-sliced bun
Ancient folded blades
Weave a deadly dance in air,
Slicing tomatoes
That sound... intruder!
I let shuriken fly and
Salt most honored fries
Oops.. um, sorry, boss.
Kneeling with wakizashi
I speak my last words...
"Combo number three
Is done... deliver swiftly!"
... then die with honor.
- jewel
I place an order
for a Ninja Burger meal
Silent tasty food
In the dead of night
I turn and look behind me
Ninja with sandwich
Money in his hand,
he bows quite honorably,
and he vanishes.
"How did he do this?"
I think as I eat my meal.
"Secret of Ninja."
- PingReset-san
Webvan dishonor
Customers go hungry now
Ninja Burger saves
WebVan coupons good
for fifty cents off right now
at Ninja Burger
Always hot and fresh
Guaranteed delivery
or else, seppuku
Call, there in half hour
don't need credit card number
they already know
Did I unlock door?
Is alarm on? Never mind
Food's already here
Credit card is billed
Delivery, 90 bucks?!?!?
Better not complain
Ninja business plan:
no unhappy customers...
to be left alive
- Anonymous
(originally posted at FuckedCompany.com)
'Twas the night before Christmas, a Monday I think,
and in my small fridge I found no food or drink.
My stomach growled in hunger and despair.
I had to find some food, but where where where?!?
My children were nestled all snug in their beds,
confident that, come morning, they would be fed.
If I ordered out, that would make things alright,
but who would deliver so late at night?
Suddenly on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
that I ran to the window to see what was the matter.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a Ninja and Samurai with their battle gear.
Then what did I see in the Ninja's left hand?
Two bags of take out; the Ninja burger brand!!
This Ninja that had come, he would save the day,
but first he'd get the Samurai out of his way.
As leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
the Ninja was quick, stealthy and sly.
The Samurai attacked, but missed by a mile,
And though his face was covered I'm sure the Ninja did smile.
Before he could recover from his misguided blow,
the Samurai was struck, and fell face down in the snow.
Then quick as a flash, the Ninja was gone,
leaving the Samurai's corpse, to rest on my lawn.
Then from behind me, I heard a soft sound.
My heart skipped a beat and I spun around,
and there on the counter, was a sight for sore eyes;
two little human meals, a Ninja burger and fries.
I put my hand to my chest, and let out a sigh.
My problem was solved, despite that foolish Samurai,
and as I took my first bite, I heard a voice from the sky,
"Taste the Ninja burger difference, or die!!!"
- Zee
Like winter snowfall
if i receive my food cold
bitter seppuku
- Haruyasu Kosugi -san
Seppuku Pokey
You put your sword in your stomach
You take your sword out of your stomach
You put your sword in your stomach and you shake it all around
You do the sepukku to save the honor of your family
That's what it's all about.
- Mateo0007
Thirty-two minutes:
Customer's not happy with
Late delivery.
I have been disgraced;
Spill my entrails on the floor;
The burgers were late.
- Haruko Ogata-san
silent man in black
poised birdlike in my bushes
leaves a combo meal
caltrop of bright steel
concealed between meat and cheese
reminds one to tip
arterial blood
mingles like husband to wife
becomes one with ketchup
-One OverZerO
Silent snow essence
Pond edges frozen softly
Withered grass remains
Crisp Autumnal day
An organized mutiny
Martyred leaves detach.
Her poisoned beauty
Resting unannounced within--
Ninja-to scabbard
From his destiny.
Moving slowly, suddenly,
The man walked away
Delicate ferns grow
In the shadows of the oak
Embroidered sunlight
Summit conference
Yields Paper Tiger Regime,
War within the sects.
-Gray Ninja
My stomach grumbles
Growing ever hungrier
Nothing in the fridge
Call up pizza place
Far too expensive, I think
They don't deliver
That's when I see it-
ninja running across lawn
quickly he is gone
Call Ninja Burger
Their food is appetizing
Plus, they deliver
"30 minutes or
else"-that is the Ninja code-
yes...but or else what?
I notice the breeze
The window is now open
Ninja stands behind.
"100 yen. NOW!"
he says, and I pay then ask
"What if food is late?"
"SEPPUKU!" he screams
then jumps out open window.
Swiftly he is gone.
I do not tip him-
That's against the Ninja code.
My food is awesome.
-Rdish
"No Sweat"
ninja carry meal
fight samurai on rooftop
swift delivery
"Failed Daylight Raid"
feel Dim Mak death touch
haha foolish samurai
can't steal secret sauce
"Costly Mix Up"
dog feel prick on neck
delivery made on time
dog stiff, oops wrong dart
"Price Of Failure"
spatulas move swift
three burger hit grill, one gone
boss struck, ninja die
~Hisao Fujita-san
Soft like leaves in wind
Does my burger come for me.
Tip two hundred yen.
-
Black on black on black.
The ninja wears a uniform;
Babe magnet, for sure.
-
Our ninja are so skilled
That there is no need to say
"You want fries with that?"
-
We need no ad like,
"Ancient Chinese secret, huh?"
Our burger well known.
-
Cherry blossoms fall
As ninja and samurai
Battle for service.
One man lay down dead.
A knock on the door. Who won?
"Ninja Burger." "Thanks."
-
How is our Onion
Death Blossom like the ninja?
Both go with no trace.
-
Ancestors teach us
The secret of hand-broiled
No-meat, all-soy goods.
Many a rookie
Burns himself with the mis-use
Of ancient knowledge.
Proper mastery
Can take students years to learn.
It is well worth it.
With hand-broiled soy,
Customer taste the true chi
Of the master chef.
-
Ninja in the tree
Contemplates the Zen koan
Of Joshu and MU
"Did he mean the moo
of cow? The meat we mock with
two handfuls of soy?"
"Uh-oh." The watch shows
Our ninja philosopher
He must deliver.
-
Flip, sizzle, fizz.
Foodstuffs of Ninja Burger
Have no innate stealth.
-
Samurai chicken.
While he may run and hide out,
The sandwich tastes good.
-
"HI-YA!""Ow, that smarts!"
In training the ninja learns
To defend himself.
On city rooftop,
Lone delivery ninja
Defeats foe quick.
-
Silence is the key.
The Art of Stealth takes nothing
but utter silence.
-
Fanboy write haiku
To offer as most grand gift.
Domo, Aeon-san.
- Rigil Paix
- Sakura (http://yuina.net)
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